Episode 75

I Don’t Know How to Make Coffee | SUDO Show 75

April 1st, 2026

1 hr 7 mins 57 secs

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Download MP3 (76.8 MB)

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bouncy balls serial mice gateway cow boxes school computer lab pacman batch file open source airplane hdmi to floppy yaml kubernetes fedora.js vm matrix containers kata containers podman pc speaker 10base2 lan parties zipslack openstack use flags gentoo reactos enlightenment e16 fvwm95 x11 xfree86 windows 9x “i don’t know how to make coffee” coffee culture msp life sysadmin pranks tech pranks april fools sudo show technology software opensource open source linux enterprise business

About this Episode

SUDO Show 75, “I Don’t Know How to Make Coffee,” is a full‑on April Fools special where “business meets Linux” takes a back seat to pranks, retro war stories, and questionable life choices. Bill, Neal, and Noel start with open source airplanes, HDMI‑to‑floppy adapters, and whether airplane wings actually flap, then quickly descend into cargo‑class containers, VM‑matrix jokes, and vintage Linux desktop pain with FVWM95 and XFree86. From decaf‑only coffee stunts, BashRC logout traps, PC speaker torture, and ping‑flooded LAN parties to PACMAN.BAT in the school lab, Gentoo use‑flag accidents, OpenStack root‑password “oops” moments, and a threat to invent Fedora.js, they share their most devious tech and non‑tech pranks. Along the way, they talk MSP coffee culture, two‑pots‑a‑day network engineering, Kubernetes as “all YAML,” and close by reminding you not to try any of this at work—no matter how good that April Fools itch feels.

Show Links:

FVWM95 – https://fvwm95.sourceforge.net/
ReactOS – https://reactos.org/
Kata Containers – https://katacontainers.io
podman – https://podman.io

Chapters:

00:00:00 Intro – Off the Rails April Fools
00:00:55 Open Source Airplanes and HDMI-to-Floppy
00:01:50 Do Airplane Wings Flap?
00:04:28 Cargo Class and the VM Matrix
00:05:22 Best Tech and Non-Tech Pranks
00:08:49 FVWM95, XFree86, and Fake Windows Desktops
00:14:22 ReactOS and Retro Linux Adventures
00:15:01 Going Vintage in the Future
00:18:09 Bill’s Decaf Coffee and BashRC Pranks
00:19:56 PC Speaker Torture and Random Beeps
00:20:58 Old-School LAN Parties
00:23:05 Ping-Flood LAN Parties and ZipSlack
00:24:21 PSA System Rollback – April Fools
00:25:58 Noel’s PACMAN.BAT and Lab Ban
00:32:02 Linux ISOs and School Network Quotas
00:35:07 Office Built from Old Optiplex Cases
00:39:28 First Home PCs and Gateway Cow Boxes
00:42:06 Serial Mice Still in Production
00:42:56 Gentoo Use Flags and history
00:46:22 OpenStack Cluster and Lost Root Password
00:48:41 Ranking Pranks and Coffee + Desktop Combo
00:50:45 Noel Hates Coffee
00:52:26 MSP Coffee Culture and “I Don’t Know How to Make Coffee”
00:55:51 Weaponized Iced Coffee
00:58:52 /30 Subnets per Phone and Two Pots of Coffee
01:01:10 No Rails
01:02:06 May Your BBQ Sauce Be Watery
01:03:36 Kubernetes Is All YAML
01:04:04 Fedora.js
01:04:57 Disclaimer – Do Not Try This at Work
01:06:01 Ball Pits, Ball.js, and Bouncy Balls
01:07:29 Outro – Where Business Meets Terrible Jokes

Connect with the Hosts:

Bill - @ctlinux on Mastodon
Neal - @neal@social.gompa.me on Mastodon
Noel - https://github.com/noelmiller